As an Aries, I am an extremist. I don't do things by the book. I don't heir on the side of caution, and most times I jump first and think later. This is innate. It's how I was born, and very much a part of who I am. I am attracted to challenges, debates, risk. I become invigorated by overcoming them. Much of my travel life is stimulated by this. Another country, limited monies, while armed with determination, a quest for the life a new country brings, and in better cases a great phrasebook of the local language. I feel like a warrior out there.
So when is the risk not worth the reward?
Is it when your family and possibly friends think you've acted foolishly, and beyond your means? Is it when you, yourself start to question, if you're searching or merely running away? Is it when your bank account is at $0 upon arriving back home and you start life again 'home' from scratch? Is it when you feel everyone watching, and that creates a pressure to make it all look like everything is fine, when it isn't?
I have always seen the biggest risk in NOT attempting. When I feel down about the circumstances that I have put myself in, usually financial risk for this passion of travel, I remember the reward when I look in the faces of those who haven't.
More often than not, I am approached with the phrase "I could never do what you do. You take risks. I want so badly to just (insert passion here) but I can't." I wonder some times where this person's reward is. Is it in stability, or the illusion, of it as I say? Many times it is, and that is enough for people. Their comfort zone is enough wiggle room for them.To each is own. Trust me, I understand. I'd kill for some of that financial stability at the moment.
But, again, is the risk of not doing anything, worth the reward of stability?
Lately, I've been brought back to a conversation I had with Megan before we departed Japan. I told her something that I believed very deeply, and it scared the shit out of me saying it, but I felt it in my gut.
I looked her in the eye and said," I feel like I have to lose everything in order to gain it back ten fold. I really see myself going through a tough time, right before the awakening to the most magnificent rewards my life has ever seen."
This conversation took place approaching a year ago. In this past year, I have lost one of my best friends to a motorcycle accident. At that point, I had just began to let go of a love I was attached to for over a year. I ventured out with Jet Set Zero which subsequently put me in the worst financial situation I may have ever been in upon arrival home. I sat at Narita Tokyo airport and disposed of over a luggage worth of clothes to purge it out of my life, and eradicate any baggage costs. That same day, I turned twenty-six years old and started a new numerology cycle into a 1 year.
I do believe that you have to let go of the muck, in order to receive the new treasures. The whole idea of cleaning your plate before being able to add on more.
This blog is a mental attempt at that. Lately, my posts have been about travel, on the surface level. Right now I'm going through real shit and the fasade was ready to come down.
Universe, I have purged a lot in preparations for what you have for me. I swear, to adapt as needed, but to steam roll forward with my dreams, without reservations. I'm ready. I'm ready for the awakening to the benefits of all my perserverance. I open up to you because I know everything I ever dreamed of is all within my reach, I just have to ask for it.